tang & bolster: Leonard's Bakery

Aw, heck. Let's just ride the Oahu sweets train for two more posts.

Third up to bat is Leonard's Bakery. Anyone who's been to Oahu and still doesn't know what Leonard's is should be ashamed of themselves. Nearing 60 years of baked goodness, Leonard's offers a wide variety of bakery classics to Oahu. What they're most famous for are their Portuguese baked goods.

If you're having trouble finding the place, roll down your windows and alert your senses to the smell of fried dough. The smell is unmistakeable, and while it may be a little too intense at first, that smell will lure you in like a moth to a flame. The moth here is your diet/health, and the flame is one of the best bites of fried dough I've had in my life.

The length of the line fluctuates throughout the day. Never let the line deter you though. Leonard's runs a well-oiled, or well-fried, operation, so the line moves slowly enough for you to drool all over the display cases, but fast enough for you to get your fix before you flood the place.

Like many famous spots on Oahu, Leonard's has its fair share paraphernalia. Their mascots, "malasada babies," are creepy, but give them some time and I bet you they'll grow on you. I bought this "chef baby" for a friend back home. It was meant to be a joke at first because the thing looked so darn creepy. But by the time I had to hand the baby over, I had to exercise some serious self-control to not rip it from my friend's hands and run away.

Once you get your order and leave the store, giggling like a little school boy, consider grabbing a seat on one of the bakery's storefront benches to enjoy your malasadas in their freshest form. Keep an eye out, however, for the battalion of birds. They're cute, until they start nosediving straight towards your malasadas. The ones hopping around on the floor are easy to keep an eye on, but those are mere diversions. The real ones to look out for are the ones skillfully perched up on the stone/brick columns. I seriously thought the one in the picture here was going to shoot laser beams out of its eyes.

The first item my friends and I got was the famed Original Malasada in Plain Sugar. When we first opened the styrofoam container, all I could see was sugar. Everywhere. My immediate concerns of the malasada being too sugary were immediately backhanded by the heavenliness of the first bite.

As my teeth made the first incision into the malasada, a puff of baked bread found its way into my nostrils. The bread was absurdly pillowy, with just enough fry to add some resistance. The sugar wasn't overwhelming at all, with just the right amount of sugar crystals making it onto the actual malasada. Though you might be tempted to dip your malasada in the excess sugar in the container, don't. I thought the following bites of the now deflated treat were going to be less miraculous, but I thought wrong. Bite after bite after bite. So addictive and so, so good.

Your container should look like this after your attack on the malasada.

Because we were feeling a little adventurous, we also got the seasonal Guava Malasada Puff.

While the guava custard itself was good, I found myself really just wanting another Original Malasada with Plain Sugar. The custard had light hints of the tropical fruit, but the gooeyness of the custard ended up making the fluffy fried bread less than ideal. If you're really feeling adventurous, go for it, but personally, I'll probably pass in the future.

As much as I'd love to try all of their treats, I know that every time I make my way back to this malasada mecca I won't be able to convince myself, or anyone else, probably, to get anything other than the Original Malasada in Plain Sugar.